As I stood at the kitchen counter, chopping zucchini with one hand, sauteing bacon and onions in butter with the other and checking on the homemade stuffing with my free hand (yes, I have three hands. Doesn't that explain a lot now?), I realized that this was what I've always, always loved to do. Perhaps it was the smell of fresh bacon that did it, or maybe catching myself narrating each step of my original recipe aloud was the clincher, but suddenly, it hit me.
I've missed my life calling as a TV chef.
Yes, the Food Network is my true home. After years of studying the English language and nearly blinding myself with pouring over its treasured tomes of literature, my passion rears its creative head, not in writing, but in cooking. I take great pride in flipping the perfect omelette, in minced onion blended with mashed garlic and spread over a toasted, buttered baguette just so. I narrate to myself constantly, inventing sometimes-bizarre meals out of basic ingredients (ergo, the advent of the Muen-dog Omelette), or testing a made-up a recipe for baked stuffed zucchini because I was bored and hungry (recipe soon to follow!). And yeah, I did just whip out homemade ice cream. Oh, you don't like ice cream? That's ok--I got more concoctions up my sleeve that you can even guess. I'm a kitchen fiend. Throwing seven different kinds of smoke over the stove here. Oh wait...sorry, no, that's the steam from MY HOMEMADE LONDON BROIL. If I wasn't me, I would totally marry myself.
Four years of college misdirected. Twenty-two years' energy wasted. Thousands of appetites left empty, possibly millions of empty stomachs, all starving, because I never taught them how to make my special holiday version of snickerdoodle cookies.
There's my plans put to shame. Oh wait...I don't have any plans anymore.
Looks like I'm setting up a videocamera in my kitchen and finally putting my YouTube account to good use.
BOOM. ROASTED.
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Baked Stuffed Zucchini
Ingredients:
1 large (or 2 medium) zucchini
1 box Stouffer's Whole Wheat Stuffing
1/4 cup onion, minced
4 strips cooked bacon, minced
1 1/3 cups water (for stuffing)
1 1/2 tbs butter (for stuffing)
Prep time: 15 minutes
Bake time: 20-25 minutes
Prepare stuffing as directed on box. Boil zuccini whole for 8 minutes, turning at 4 minutes to evenly cook. When done, cut zucchini into quarters, and scoop out the pulp, chopping it finely. Place the zucchini quarters in greased baking pan. Saute the bacon and onion together, and add to the stuffing. Combine stuffing mixture and chopped pulp. Spoon mixture into zucchini quarters and bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes.
Will you marry me?
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